Thursday, June 25, 2009

Super Mario & Paychecks

So TJMaxx hired me. June 15, 2009. woot! That phone call was probably the best one ever. I love the job so far & hopefully it will stay that way. First paycheck Friday!!! :D

I bought two Super Mario games off of eBay last week for my Super Nintendo. I've been playing ever since. I love Mario. & Luigi. & YOSHI! & them little Goomba things that look like squished monkeys. Yeah, they're bad guys, but they make me giggle. Mario is a nice change of pace from Tetris. I mean...Tetris clears my mind so I can focus on thinking about things I may not particularly want to think about. But Mario...well he just lets me stomp on bad guys and slide down flagpoles. That's pretty sweet.

I sang the National Anthem at the Jammers game last night. Everyone told me I did great, and I mean..I did okay. But I started too high, so it's wasn't the best I've done. AND my mom forgot how to make a camera turn on, so I don't have any pictures. ughhh. But that's okay. I've got another game August 11th. I'll just give it another go. :) But I need camera-literate people to come, so I don't have to trust my mom again. She sucks at cameras. For real.

I'm going to Subway with Ashley tomorrow. We were gonna go today, but her car broke down, so we have to wait. Then Monday, I guess Shara & I might go to the mall or something. I'm excited 'cause we haven't hung out in foreverrrr & I miss her.

Hmmm. I had a lot to write about awhile ago, but I don't remember any of what I was going to talk about. Maybe it's better off that way...maybe my thoughts are all better left unsaid.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Nothing Ever Changes

Nothing ever changes.

I am still the same girl I was the last time I wrote here: single, jobless, pathetic.

I'm not finding what I'm looking for, I'm tired of waiting, and I don't know what else I can do.

I've been beyond isolated lately--on purpose. I stopped carrying my phone with me, I stopped signing onto AIM, I only ever played games and updated my status message on Facebook. I didn't feel like talking; I don't feel like much of anything at all.

"It's 3am and I'm still awake, writing a song. If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to." Ah, a slightly altered song lyric - sue me. Song lyrics are the only thing that seem to make sense anymore. Well that and House/The Nanny/Gilmore Girls/Bones episodes. Yes, television has been acting as a psuedo-therapist lately. It's probably not healthy, but it's there.

I can't take this anymore. I can't deal with anything right now. I'm so tired, and I'm so done.

And not one sane person I know even takes the time to read this thing anyway; which is probably a good, safe idea for them. My thoughts tend to corrupt and utterly ruin a person. Sorry, my bad.

Lost and Drowning