Monday, December 20, 2010

it's a first kiss, it's flawless, really something; it's fearless ♥

I just had the most amazing day. I got up around 11, got ready for work left around noon & we stopped at BK Lounge, since I'd been craving it for 20 million years. I had to work 1 to 6, and it's hard to work when you are anticipating something so much. They stuck me in fitting room, which would be fine on a normal day. But with nothing to do, the time drags on. So. Slow. After three hours of that, they pulled me out of there to go run 60 Housewares stuff. I spent the next hour and a half PRAYING for six o'clock. & when it came...I was so happy. haha. A bunch of people knew about the date so they're all like..."OMG Allyson, good luck." hahaha. & I was laughing & I went outside and...there he was. So we went to Wing City, and ate...and it was so funny 'cause he was awkward and nervous and it was so cute. & he held my hand and it fit and I was like...this is it. So he wanted to kill time so we went to Walmart and wandered around holding hands and looking at random shit and talking. Then he drove me home, and we talked some more, and he reached over and held my hand until we got to my house and then we sat there. In the car. & we're both like...ummmm. & he's like "Id ask if you wanted to kiss, but I dunno if that's too soon or something..." and I'm like ", I don't think it is." and we both kinda leaned in and bumped noses and was that awkward sort of perfect where you're both nervous and shy and its adorable and perfect and my heart skipped a beat and he smelled really good and his hand fit perfect with mine and he's like "I hope this lasts." and like...I couldn't catch my breath and I'm like...I guess I have to get out of the car now haha. Its just so cute 'cause he gets all shy and awkward and I think its adorable and I don't know. I'm just so happy I can't breathe and I had to write it all down so I wouldn't ever forget this moment.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Life Ramblings

I really want to write a blog, but I don't really even know where to start.
It's the end of the semester. I need to get through a 15hr work weekend and 4 finals and then I can say I survived my first semester at Fredonia. To be honest, I really don't like it there. I had two professors I liked, I'm not really enjoying my coursework, and I really haven't made a single real friend since I started there. By the end of my first semester at JCC, I'd made at least five friends. It's so depressing. On days when my JCC friends aren't around for classes, I'm sitting alone, running the battery out on my laptop, then searching for an outlet to plug it back in.
With the exception of one person.
SMS is...unbelievable. We met online 4 months ago, discovered we had a mutual friend, and we each went to her for information on the other. hehe. We met up for coffee a couple times, and before I knew it, we were texting back and forth practically all day, every day. We went out to dinner at Applebee's, got some more coffee...and then life got in the way. We both got caught up in school and work and life, but continued to talk everyday, even though we didn't see each other again for a couple weeks. Over those few weeks, we had several conversations about life, love, and our futures, and with every text, we learned more and more about the other, and realized just how well we fit. We finally had a chance to get coffee again, and we sat for two hours talking about everything and nothing. Then, he texted me one lonely Tuesday while I was sitting alone in a corner, and surprised me so I wouldn't have to sit alone anymore.
He gets how it feels to be broken hearted. He knows how it feels to get dumped; to deal with a bad relationship. He isn't the kind of person who wants to push it or rush it in any way. He's teaching me the art of patience, and the anticipation is making it all so much more exciting. I'm clinging to this feeling because it's...the most amazing thing I've ever felt. He's being careful because he doesn't want to deal with another breakup. He wants his next relationship to be the last. He's not looking for a night, or a week, or a couple months. He is looking for forever. Forever is what I've been searching for my whole life.
He's smart and he's funny. He has goals and plans for his life. He keeps mentioning things in a way that makes it sound like we'll be doing them together, playing video games and going to concerts, and meeting my parents. I'm trying to be apprehensive; I've trying to keep myself from being excited. Because it seems like every time I get excited and get comfortable with something, it gets ripped away. But I can't help but be excited about him. He's everything I've been waiting for. And I'm perfectly happy to continue waiting and anticipating what is to come, because I just have this good feeling that we have all the time in the world to let this happen.
Life is being absolutely wonderful to me lately, & I hope it doesn't decide to crash & burn on me again.