Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Nothing Ever Changes

Nothing ever changes.

I am still the same girl I was the last time I wrote here: single, jobless, pathetic.

I'm not finding what I'm looking for, I'm tired of waiting, and I don't know what else I can do.

I've been beyond isolated lately--on purpose. I stopped carrying my phone with me, I stopped signing onto AIM, I only ever played games and updated my status message on Facebook. I didn't feel like talking; I don't feel like much of anything at all.

"It's 3am and I'm still awake, writing a song. If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to." Ah, a slightly altered song lyric - sue me. Song lyrics are the only thing that seem to make sense anymore. Well that and House/The Nanny/Gilmore Girls/Bones episodes. Yes, television has been acting as a psuedo-therapist lately. It's probably not healthy, but it's there.

I can't take this anymore. I can't deal with anything right now. I'm so tired, and I'm so done.

And not one sane person I know even takes the time to read this thing anyway; which is probably a good, safe idea for them. My thoughts tend to corrupt and utterly ruin a person. Sorry, my bad.

Lost and Drowning

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