Tuesday, February 10, 2009

But down the road the sun is shining...

...in every cloud there's a silver lining; just keep holding on.

I kind of feel like telling my life story. hehe.

So my name is Allyson Rae. I was born March 17, 1990, which makes me one month and seven days away from being nineteen. yay. I was pretty lucky; my parents were amazing. They loved each other, and you could tell, even when they fought. And I was a lovely child, so it was easy for them to love me too. ;] haha. I'm just kidding, honestly. Not about the fact that they loved me though. I was an only child for seven years, until they had my sister. We won't talk much about her. I hate her. I love her. It's typical. :]

I spent my whole life living on the same property, in a total of two different houses. I remember pretending to tap dance on my old kitchen floor in my shiny black mary-janes, singing Barney songs and Garth Brooks at the top of my lungs. Yes, I tap-danced to Garth Brooks. :D

I've been a CVCS Cougar since I started pre-school. I've never gone anywhere else, and to be honest, there have only been one or two times where I really wanted to. I graduated fifteenth or sixteenth in my class in the Spring of 2008. It was bittersweet. My best friend ags and I sang "For Good," a song from the musical "Wicked," along with our Sr. High Band, playing an arrangement that our band director put together. We definately cried.

Ahh music; where do I begin? Music has been in my life since I was little. from "Jesus Loves Me," to Brooks and Dunn, to Led Zeppelin--I've been exposed to everything. My mom loved country, and my dad, rock and roll. So when Mommy drove me to Walmart, we sang along to Reba McEntire, and those times when Daddy let me ride to the dump, we'd blast Pink Floyd and The Beatles. Life was good.

In the Spring of 2001, I auditioned for the single most-influential thing in my life: The Chautauqua Children's Chorale. The CCC is a choir of exceptionally talented children in grades 3 - 12, who get together once a week and rehearse. And from Fall 2001 to Summer 2008, seven years, I was one of them. I have probably learned close to 200 songs, in at least 10 languages, and sang in maybe 75 concerts. We took two trips to Hawaii (July 2003 & July 2008) as well as one Alaska trip I did not attend. The people I met there became my family; that group my life. And through the music, and the guidance of our incredible director, I found myself and decided my future.

And so I find myself here,a second-semester freshman at JCC, majoring in Music, living with three of my best friends: alf, ael & ael-- and having the time of my life. I sing in the Jazz Chorus here on Mondays. Even coming to college, I never lost the music. Obviously--I am a music major. But while my days are spent analyzing chords and singing solfege, I can look forward to the Monday nights when I'm making music just for the pure joy of making music. I look forward to the hours I can spend singing with the radio, or belting out some karaoke with my friends. I've found ways to keep music from becoming a chore, and I am so glad I have. If I hadn't, I'm afraid that actually actively pursuing the study of music would have ruined music for me forever. Then I really don't know what I would have done.

Things haven't always been easy in my life. I dealt with favoritism, criticism, a fair share of ridicule and isolation, not to mention sadness, pain, anger and depression. We've struggled with money, family issues, tragedy, and death. While I've liked several boys growing up, only one ever gave me a chance, jrb, and that same boy is the only one who has ever truly broken my heart; something I still struggle to overcome to this day. Yet, through everything I've experienced, all the adversity I've faced, I have still managed to overcome it all, and become a better and stronger person for it. Something I plan to continue doing. You only get one life, you might as well live it and enjoy it.

I don't know what the point of this really was. I think I just wanted to reflect on the past 18 (almost 19!) years, and everything I've been through. Now I think I'm done with nostalgia for awhile. :]

...& every heartache makes you stronger, but it won't be much longer--you'll find love, you'll find peace & the you you're meant to be. I know right now that's not the way you feel, but one day you will. You will find the strength to rise above. You will find just what you're made of.

Allyson Rae
"peace, love & music."

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