Saturday, February 14, 2009

Well open up your mind and see like me; open up your plans and damn you're free...

...Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love.

It's Valentine's Day. I have never been a Valentine's fan; probably a symptom of my bitter heart. 18 years of hearts & flowers, and never a Valentine of my own. It depresses me sometimes, but I know that I'm not the only one...right?

I figured I'd treat today just like any other day, but of course my mom had to get me a card, and a package of Ghirardelli Dark Chocolate. I guess V-Day isn't SO bad ;]

I'm glad to be home though today. I'm sitting in the recliner, watching Food Network and not eating hot pockets or easy mac, which is what I've been surviving on recently. My cats want to cuddle, and I have a piano that I can easily access, so life is good.

Listen to the music of the moment people, dance and sing; we're just one big family & it's our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved. So I won't hesitate no more, no more. It cannot wait; I'm sure there's no need to complicate, our time is short. This is our fate, I'm yours.

I keep holding out hope that some prince on a white horse is gonna ride up and save me, but I know it's impossible and a little crazy. Although if he happened to resemble Hugh Laurie with a piano, I'd be okay with that. ;] I don't know. It hit me yesterday night just how pathetic my love life has become. Of my four best friends, one is engaged, one is almost engaged, and the other two have been in serious relationships for at least two months. I haven't so much as held hands with someone for two years. I just don't understand. I keep wondering if there is something so wrong with me that maybe I really AM meant to be that crazy cat lady in that house on the corner.

I can't figure it out. I mean I'm intelligent, I'm caring, I'm told that I'm talented. I'm not entirely butt-ugly, although I'm not as pretty as most of the people I know. I shower daily, and I brush my teeth. So what is it that keeps guys from looking in my direction? I guess it's something I'm not meant to understand. I have faith that God has got that perfect person hiding behind the next corner...I only wish I knew which corner it was. Sometimes, you get tired of waiting and having faith. Sometimes, you just want to...not be alone anymore.

Oh well, I've got my cats to cuddle with, and a piano to play. I'll be alright for another day or two.
Happy Single's Awareness Day - May the chocolate be bountiful and the ice cream be cold. :]

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror, & bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer. But my breath fogged up the glass, & so I drew a new face and I laughed. I guess what I be saying is there ain't no better reason to rid yourself of vanities & just go with the seasons. It's what we aim to do; our name is our virtue. But I won't hesitate no more, no more. It cannot wait; I'm yours.

Allyson Rae
"peace, love & music."

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