Tuesday, March 10, 2009

If I could write a letter to me...

...and send it back in time to myself at 17...

Dear Allyson Rae,

I love you. I know sometimes it's hard to accept yourself, and you feel uncomfortable and unhappy, but you are perfect just as you are. Don't change for anyone. One day a boy will fall in love with your fluff and your snort-laughing, I promise. Someone will find it endearing.

I know it's been a long three years since you and jrb. & I know you still love him more than you care to admit. I know it's hard, and I know your love will never change. But baby, it's time. It has to be. Someone else can and will make you happy. You just have to have faith that you will find them. It may take a week, or it may take a year, but they WILL show up. And maybe, someday, jrb will come back to you, but you can't wait for him. If it happens, it happens--but don't count on it.

Don't let anything get you down--your life is going fantastically, and you just have to keeping looking at all the good you have, and ignore the bad parts. Love your friends [they are amazing.], love your family [they will do anything for you & you know it.], love your dog [he's always been there when you're sad.] and your two kittens [they are little & need you.]. They will bring you strength when you need it most. And above all, remember you are special.

Love, Me

...And then I'd say I know it's tough when you break up after just three months. Yeah, I know you really liked him and it just don't seem fair, but all I can say is pain like that is fast and it's rare. And oh, you got so much going for you; going right, but I know at 17 it's hard to see past Friday night. He wasn't right for you, and still you feel like there's a knife sticking out of your back and you're wondering if you'll survive. But you'll make it through this and you'll see--you're still around to write this letter to me.

Allyson Rae
"peace, love & music."

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